10 things I hate about Michigan weekend

I had incredibly high hopes for this weekend. Not only had my friends and I been getting pumped up for the Michigan game all season, but I also had alumni and friends from Michigan coming in for the game. I wanted to prove to them how amazing Penn State is. I was ready to start early and stay late. I wanted to make last year’s Ohio State night of debauchery look like a kindergartner’s birthday party.

Unfortunately, the majority of my weekend experience was lackluster at best. Instead of it surpassing the events of last year’s Ohio State weekend, it failed miserably in comparison. If Ohio State was a kindergartner’s birthday party, then Michigan’s weekend was about as exciting as an 80-year-old’s bingo night.

So for all 10 points we scored this weekend, here are 10 reasons why this weekend fell short:

1) The bars were way too crowded. I waited 45-minutes to get into the Cell Block, and that was after cutting about three-quarters of the line. Then once I got in (and paid cover), the people I’d gone there to meet had left. And there was no way I was going to wait in line at another bar and meet up with another group of people.

2) The 45-minute wait also caused me to miss the dollar shot special.

3) The party we went to after the bar was dry by 1 a.m. and had two people passed out on the bathroom floor.

4) Walking from East College Avenue to the 500 block of Fraser, to Burrowes Street prompted my friends to suggest we take a cab—-apparently they don’t walk a lot in Michigan.

5) I got hit on by a sophomore from Michigan who was proud of being the football team’s equipment manager

6) Someone asked me where “Crappy Valley” was.

7) I got lost trying to find a tailgate that was “on some dirt road somewhere.”

8) Apparently if I stand from noon to midnight, I get very, very sore.

9) I had a run in with an ex and his new girlfriend, who has morphed into June Cleaver. Not only was it “wonderful to see me again,” but she also offered beer and burgers as through it was caviar and champagne — at a tailgate

10) We lost--again