As I am getting to be an old lady and no longer want to party the night away, I am retiring from the nightlife blog. Yes, I know, it's incredibly upsetting. But it has been a good ride. For the next semester, Ryan Pfister will be taking the helm, and to give you a little taste of what you're in for, here is his rendition of last weekends antics.
"The Daily Collegian Formal is pretty much the polar opposite of a middle school dance.
Last Friday was this newspaper's formal dance, held at the end of each semester to celebrate being finished and to ensure that some of us leave the office at least once over the past three months.
There are the obvious reasons why it's not like a middle school dance: the presence of alcohol, girls and boys dancing closer than three feet apart (well, in some cases a lot closer than three feet apart) and no one needs to call his or her mom for a ride home afterwards.
But there's also an unusual reason: no one brings dates.
I remember the gossip leading up to that big night in the junior high school multi-purpose room. The angst about trying - and failing - to find a date. The overwhelming coolness of those who had already locked someone in. And the indisputable popularity that came with entering under the disco lights holding hands.
But at the Collegian, it's different. Dates just aren't cool. Going as a couple will get you quite a few weird looks and might just relegate you to the far corner of the dance floor.
I'm not exactly sure why this is. Part of it is the journalistic stereotype that we're all too busy doing our jobs to think about relationships. Another is that a lot of us haven't really invested time meeting people outside the office. We're just a "tight family" down here.
Above all, the biggest no-no is bringing someone from outside the staff. I spoke to one of the "outsiders" this year, a guy dressed in spiffy shoes and a pin-striped suit. Although it looked like he had fun with his date, I'm sure he was a little confused by inside jokes about sources and newspaper design.
The lack of dates doesn't mean we're all celibate and well-behaved. Let's just say there's a few things those Parent Teacher Association chaperones would definitely have broken up if they were there. And there's a reason the formal is generally held a different place each year.
So while it was a little awkward during the end-of-the-night slow dance, not having a date really isn't that bad. There isn't as much match-making excitement before the dance, but the gossip afterwards is definitely a lot more interesting."
