I was standing in the HUB on Saturday night when I saw them: girls dressed in colorful kimonos and holding shiny fans.
I didn't have tickets to see Charlie Murphy that night and I was planning on waiting by the door to see if someone with a ticket didn't show up. But being the sucker for bright, flashy objects that I am, I had to check these girls out first.
Something seemed a little funny when I stepped into Alumni Hall for what I discovered was "Dynamic Korea - a Cultural Variety Show." Maybe it was the neon-green programs. Maybe it was the calculating efficiency with which one of the kimono girls ushered me to a seat, using her fan like a glowing airplane-guiding baton.
But as I examined the program in the minutes before the program started, I realized what was giving me the weird vibe. This wasn't just any variety show. This was a Jesus variety show.
The events certainly looked exciting: a glow-stick performance, a rock performance of the Korean Anthem, a Taekwondo demonstration, a fan dance and a performance by Eliot Chang, a comedian and Asian activist. And something called "Neo Crusade Go."
But with the show co-sponsored by the Korean Students for Christ, some of the events had a interesting religious twist. For instance, the description of the glow-stick performance didn't mention raves or even shiny lights. It was all about "spreading the love of the Lord" in the Dominican Republic. Maybe they have a lot of glowsticks down there.
Then I started reading about "Neo Crusade Go." The description talked about the "torrent of socio-religious relations among Christians and non-Christians," and Christianity's messages to the general public. "This is not an attack to those who are non-Christians, but more of an outreach to those who have not yet heard the news so they may be saved," it read.
OK, it sounded gentle enough. But farther along the program read: "we feel it is essential to remind the world that without the Lord, there is only eternal damnation ready to clasp us with its decrepit claws."
Woah. Time to make a run for Charlie Murphy. I quickly looked to both sides and then casually walked out, trying to ignore the suspicious stares from the kimono ladies. Fortunately they let me go, and soon I was back in the loving embrace of the world's decrepit claws.
I made it into Charlie Murphy's performance, but a part of me is still a little sad. Now I may never know: WGWJU - What glowsticks would Jesus use?
