While volunteering with Habitat for Humanity over spring break, I quickly learned to avoid Alabama's flying nails, power tool injuries, alligator attacks, rouge fishing hooks, and bad drivers. But the most fearful, and yet, most intriguing danger in Alabama, is the cougar.
I first learned of this legendary species while riding along in the back of a pickup truck (quite a common site in Alabama). One of my friends asked the group what they thought of the cougar he had just seen. But we were in the middle of town, and I didn't see any wild animals around.
The cougar he was referring to was not a wild animal. It's a particular type of person -- an older woman seeking a younger man. The origin of the term is unclear, but Urbandictionary.com notes a commonality between the animal species and the woman: "Man is cougar's number one prey." It adds, "The cougar can frequently be seen in a padded bra, cleavage exposed, propped up against a swanky bar in San Francisco (or other cities) waiting, watching, calculating; gearing up to sink her claws into an innocent young and strapping buck who happens to cross her path."
The term caught on with my group really quickly. At times, it seemed like the trip had turned into a cougar hunt. We spotted them in town, on the road, on television and at the beach.
I also learned the fine points of cougar identification, like how to separate the animal from the traditional MILF, slang for an attractive mother. While the MILF might just be admired from afar, the cougar is always "on the prowl," searching for her next Mrs. Robinson-style attack. There's also no requirement that a cougar be a mother or married. However, the consensus was that an "off-the-market" (perhaps 'poached' would be the term?) cougar was definitely worth more trophy points.
I thought this was all fun and games until the late night ride back to Penn State. It was then that one of the group members confessed that he had been the subject of a cougar attack -- and not just a random pouncing. This cougar came back three times to feed again. Plus she took his hat afterwards.
He said the cougar hunt was exciting at first, but it quickly became awkward, especially among his friends. He's trying to wean himself away right now, but a jealous cougar is more possessive than a grizzly bear with cubs.
So while I did learn a lot about construction, the South and life over spring break, I think I'll stick to admiring this animal from afar.
